massive suicide dreams

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July 4th, 2009

Posted by tashadeguzman at 09:20 PM on July 4, 2009.

wow this is the longest time i've been single and my god i'm enjoying it. no complications and i don't have to worry about being crazy or anything like that. cause that's what relationships do to you when you're in it: make you crazy.on the one side, sure i wanna be a couple again and do couple-y things. i miss it. but when push comes to shove, when i really think about it, i'd really rather not. i'm enjoying too much alone time with no responsibility and no pressure or anxiety. this is exactly why i should stay single anyway. i see relationships in a bad light. besides, i can't make up my mind. and i unknowingly flirt with everyone i think. i'm not sure, but james said i can't distinguish between nice guys and flirty guys. but gimme a break, they do have alot in common. >.> or maybe i'm also just being nice. being a mirror isn't always good.


i wanna go out and have fun and all that crap but 75% of the time or more, i'd just stay in my safe zone and not worry about anything. i hope my dream of travelling alone won't remain a dream. i've successfully stayed single for a while and that was one of the things i really wanted to do. i want to be independent, and maybe a drifter. how i would love to travel the world and work for a while in each country. people would forget me in no time. i have alot of acquaintances but i have very very few friends. that would be fun, but lonely. but i've always been alone i think. and i pick up random strangers for emotional support. im very selfish like that. those poor people.

 

the person who can get me out of this selfish existence would be an angel. i can't see very long term.

shoot me

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