March 10th, 2009

letter to god

Posted by tashadeguzman at 09:05 PM on March 10, 2009.

well i havent felt depressed like this in long time. and for such a little thing too. i should be grateful. well i am grateful really. god shows him/herself when you really need him/her. i have been so lethargic and apathetic and numb for for the longest time. not to mention absent from everything. ive been watching my life and everything in it pass me by for about a year now. it's not a very good way to live. i've lost alot of friends, gained some distant ones, but did nothing with my life. if i die now, i would see my life as a waste of god's energy. i have done nothing impressive or productive. and i regret the time i spent idling away the hours hiding from responsibilities and relationships. i was hiding from god, from everything. he found me anyway, and im very grateful. i have not felt this alive in a year or so. i cannot be thankful enough. i hope you bless the vessel you used to reach me. i know that that person is having a rough time at the moment, and that person doesn't know what blessing you gave me through him.

contrary to my first statement, i am not so depressed as i am humbled. i knew i said to that person that we had an agreement of separation, but i guess the time of pretending is up. for now. i know i will stray from this balance again, and i will do alot more stupid things in my life. after im still fairly young. i know you will always be there for me. bless him for me God, he did more than he knows. i cannot help him anymore, and i won't force any of my will upon yours. i hope this little prayer of thanks will go out to everyone who is in my life. i cannot be more thankful, and i love you god. thanks for nudging me that you're there. i needed it.

Currently feeling: grateful

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